Gourd in the Act

by Totally Gourdgeous

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Sometimes the Best Laid Plans © Dave McFarlane I had a plan, I made it real good, I worked on it hard to run like it should I took it real slow, checked it all twice, I took on some help, I got good advice 2/ I looked for the problems, and I put them all right Wrote down instructions, worked late into the night I took all my doubt and I pushed it aside, To focus my will on that razor sharp line 3/ I got a picture framed on my wall, It’s a image of life, it’s a message of hope A painting of colours, like a sunset on fire To remind me of faith to ignite and inspire In the morning we might understand By tomorrow it’ll all be in hand Best intentions, the outlook is good But sometimes the best laid plans
Shed a Little Light © James Taylor Oh let us turn our thoughts today To Martin Luther King And recognize that there are ties between us All men and women living on the Earth Ties of hope and love Sister and brotherhood We are bound together In our desire to see the world become A place in which our children can grow free and strong And we are bound together by the task that stands before us And the road that lies ahead We are bound and we are bound
I Have a Dream © Martin Luther King jr Now is the time, to make real the promises of democracy. Now is the time, to rise from the dark and desolate valley of segregation to the sunlit path of racial justice. Now is the time, to lift our nation from the quicksands of racial injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood. Now is the time, to make justice a reality for all of God's children. Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred. We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. We must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into physical violence. Again and again, we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force. I am not unmindful that some of you have come here out of great trials and tribulations. Some of you have come fresh from narrow jail cells. Some of you have come from areas where your quest for freedom Left you battered by the storms of persecution, staggered by the winds of police brutality. You have been the veterans of creative suffering. 'Cos I have a dream, my four little children will one day live in a nation Where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character. I have a dream today! I have a dream that one day, down in Alabama, with its vicious racists With its governor having his lips dripping with the words of "interposition" and "nullification" One day right there in Alabama little black boys and black girls Will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls As sisters and brothers. I have a dream today! With this faith, we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope... With this faith We will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith, we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together. to go to jail together To stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day. And if America is to be a great nation, this must become true. So let freedom ring from the prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire. Let freedom ring from the mighty mountains of New York. Let freedom ring from the heightening Alleghenies of Pennsylvania. Let freedom ring from the snowcapped Rookies of Colorado. Let freedom ring from the curva­eeous slopes of California. But not only that. Let freedom ring from Stone Moun­tain of Georgia. Let freedom ring from Lookout Moun­tain of Tennessee. Let freedom ring from every hill and molehill of Mississippi From every mountain side. Let freedom ring…
Wild Cathedral © Michael Kennedy Through a gate of sweet bursaria I cross a hearth of stones shiny side up Soft rain throws coloured bows Across an arc Wind a fanfare Thrills the cool air Flying choirs Fill the steeple Ceiling clouds swirl Isles of bloom curl Around the wild cathedral Under a bow for shelter I watch a holy helter skelter Take the day and shape away Like a master sculptor Wind a fanfare… In the rock I see a face In the tree a dance There’s a breath upon the sun Folding light holding life In a trance What a wild mysterious thing To find yourself in almost everything Lying on a temple crying gentle Tears of awakening Wind a fanfare… And everywhere, the fill and fall of trill and call Everywhere, the fill and fall of trill and call And everywhere, the fill and fall of trill and call...
Pizza Resistance © Mal Webb 2018 This song is for a restaurant I've long visualised An imaginary franchise for the disenfranchised A fictional kitchen, which for globally famed Fearless leaders of love it is nobly named In these slices of life, find kindness entwined Like "Like Water for Chocolate", through the stomach to the mind [Chorus...] Come eat at the Pizza Resistance Comida la peaceful persistence Non violent people's revolution, spins round your platter Revering the kinder heros who really matter First up, a la carte, we have the Dalai Lama - One with everything, the supreme karma farmer Then the Nelson Mandela our top seller, it'll govern your taste buds but takes a long time in the oven Then the Martin Luther King, aka MLK, Mushroom, Lettuce and Kale, s'il vous plait, right away Like the Josephine Baker cake when just desserts, unsegregated flavours a swirl of banana exerts Unless French dressing disconcerts. [Chorus...] ...who truly matter Fine dining combining a reminder call with a comestible that's the best of all Celebration! It's a festival! And salivation! It's delectable! Salutation of salvation through satiation Up next on the specials is the Corazon Aquino, the Manila folded pizza or Calzone Philipino Then the Ken Saro Wiwa's Nigerian effect, with no oil or shellfish, out of respect Then the Julian Assange features leeks of course, a taste of Ecuador with a secret sauce Then the Ghandi knocks your socks off, but not so hot that it's untouchable. It's fast food and yet it's not. Pass the salt... make it one with the lot. Wot ya got! But in each case, each great tasty topping Needs a supportive base to stop it flopping Hours of grind for fine flours wholegrained and seeded Growing rolls are heeded when dough is kneaded The heat entreats yeast increased in size The trusted crust and the faithful rise [Chorus...] ...who really truly matter Fine dining combining a reminder call with a comestible that's the best of all Celebration! It's a festival! And salivation! It's delectable! Salutation of salvation through satiation And guaranteed the ingredients of every morsel in our range is organically and ethically sourced and, of course It's a given that the menu is subject to change, as the women and men who inspired it desired it So we wood fired it! 'Cos with a jukebox stocked with Bob Marley and John Lennon And bookshelf stacked with Gene Sharp, Tolstoy and Thoreau Extend the menu beyond the venue to fond defenders of our rights That maybe you don't know you don't know Like the Cesar Chavez if farm fresh is what you seek Or for greens, the Bob Brown is mild, but never meek Take a seat, try the Rosa Parks, the Alice Paul And the Nobel Women's Initiative pizza. Try 'em all! Then the Lauaki Namulau'ulu Mamoe's A long way from the flavour of the Lech Wałęsa Then the Vaclav Havel, the Gbowee, the Tohu Kākahi, The Te Whiti o Rongomai, the Desmond Tutu Phew! And maybe even you too! [Chorus...] ...who really truly matter Fine dining combining a reminder call with a comestible that's the best of all Celebration! It's a festival! And salivation! It's delectable! Salutation of salvation through satiation ©Mal Webb 2017
So Over You 04:43
So Over You © Mal Webb 2008 I was on the rebound when we met, my heart so freshly broken And there you were, unspoken for, not quite all I was hoping for But my mind conspired to fix you up, selective sense avoiding Your faults had some embroid’ing done ’Til you’d become my number one But time has made the colours fade The shroud has frayed away And now the real you is standing there as plain as day Well, I’m afraid I have to say That I’m so so so so so over you It’s time that you finally knew You’re no longer who had at first enchanted me How dare you not be all that I imagined you to be So I’m so ... I thought that you ought be told Now my love’s run cold, let me hold somebody new ’Cos I’m oh so over you But, of course, you’ll hear no word of this I’ll just say, “You’re a bastard! You lied to me so dastardly You cad, you’ve seen the last of me!” My friends all try to dry my tears And help me to be strong But can’t resist the urge to say they knew it all along You were always Mr Wrong Now I’m so ... You’re cast to the past, it’s true My creative mind had me blind, but now I see You’re not a patch upon the catch I’d built you up to be So I’m so ... Here it ends and we shan’t be friends While my poor heart mends, let me tend to someone new Now I’m oh so over you Well, I’m queen of denial, delusion and dejection Bumbling from flower to flower for fear of rejection I’m riding on a vicious cycle, vexed by my own hexes It’s why I never get along with any of my exes But, of course, you’ll hear no word of this I’ll just leave in a huff And fly into the arms of my next blind romantic’s bluff But it’s never quite enough ’Cos I’m so ... Then again, given time, who knows? When this heartache goes, I may see you as before Recalling I adore you, God knows, maybe even more But I’m so ... Back away, form an orderly queue ’Til I’ve thought this though, let me hold somebody new ’Cos I’m oh so over you. ©Mal Webb 2008
A Trick of the Tail © Tony Banks Bored of the life on the city of gold He'd left and let nobody know. Gone were the towers he had known from a child, Alone with the dream of a life He traveled the wide open road, The blinkered arcade, In search of another to share in his life. Nowhere. Everyone looked so strange to him. They've got no horns and they've got no tail They don't even know of our existence. Am I wrong to believe in a city of gold That lies in the deep distance, he cried And wept as they led him away to a cage Beast that can talk, read the sign. The creatures they pushed and they prodded his frame And questioned his story again. But soon they grew bored of their prey Beast that can talk? More like a freak or publicity stunt. Oh No. They've got no horns and they've got no tail They don't even know of our existence. Am I wrong to believe in a city of gold That lies in the deep distance, he cried And broke down the door of the cage and marched on out. He grabbed a creature by the scruff of his neck, pointing out: There, beyond the bounds of you weak imagination Lie the noble towers of my city, bright and gold. Let me take you there, show you a living story Let me show you others such as me Why did I ever leave? They've got no horns and they've got no tail They don't even know of our existence Am I wrong to believe in a city of gold That lies in the deep distance, he cried And wept. And so we set out with the best and his horns And his crazy description of home. After many days journey we came to a peak Where the beast gazed abroad and cried out. We followed his gaze and we thought that maybe we saw A spire of gold - no, a trick of the eye that's all, But the beast was gone and a voice was heard: They've got no horns and they've got no tail They don't even know of our existence Am I wrong to believe in a city of gold That lies in the deep distance Hello friend, welcome home.
Buttercup 05:35
Buttercup © Mal Webb Grab yourself a partner, quickly now We can dance the Buttercup and I'll show you how It all came from a game we played for hours Outstanding in the field of flowers By the botanical name of Ranunculus It inflames little funk unless the groove's improved With a glutinous maximal Gambian move A double entendre or two and you Gently zoom that yellow bloom beneath your partner's chin And there may show a golden glow upon that chinny skin Thence your task is to ask the spread on which they're keen Your voice should carry like Bootsy or Barry Smooth as margarine, as you utter "Do you like butter?" Moove around with a dairy air Churning arms and a bovine stare Then flick that buttercup in the air And walk away like you just don't care So how'd you go? Did you do OK? Did you bump into someone as you walked away? Well, that's your new partner without a doubt Updating's what the Buttercup's all about Hug what you love, then let it wander Yonder to ponder growing fonder ‘Til one day you're reuniting with 'em Chewing the fat in ruminating rhythm (chewing that cud...) Ooh, that's the Buttercup If you don't know how it goes, just make it up ...No-one really knows when you mess it up ...Don't grow roots and vegetate Good things come to those who gyrate Well, how was that? Did it do the trick? Did your timing suck? Did you splaff the flick? Be free range, do it anywhere My granny even does it in a wheelchair There will, in turn, be those who spurn The chance to enhance romance with a daggy dance Let 'em stray on their gormless way They may still cotton on someday to the Buttercup... Well, that's about it, I hope you've found it fun Now you're bound to spread it ‘round To one and all, to stranger, friend and foe Sow the seed and Buttercups tend to grow!... © Mal Webb 2002
Dangerous Boys © Mark Simos Come all of you good men Who are loving and kind Who will be there tomorrow Who know your own mind Find yourself a good woman Taste life’s many joys But don’t fall for one who loves Those dangerous boys They’re the boys that can steal her heart With one sparkling glance Loyalty against mystery Never had half a chance On the thinnest of threads they tug Like a child with his toys So strong the chains of Those dangerous boys Did you court her too gently? Could you just not wait? Did you arrive at her doorstep One heartbeat too late? Did you try to call to her In midnight’s dark voice? A language known only to Those dangerous boys What fool god possessed you? What made you so bold? To reach for a hand You could have but not hold Was it ever your game to win With your plans and your ploys? No, you lost to the easy grin Of those dangerous boys Some days you’ll be filled with rage Some days with despair You’re the one truly dangerous You’re the one who is there You’re the one she would choose to love If love were a choice Instead of a tale told By dangerous boys So come all of you good men Who are loving and kind Who will be there tomorrow Who know your own mind Find yourself a good woman Taste life’s many joys But don’t fall for one who loves Those dangerous boys Yes, stay far from the ones who love Only those dangerous boys
Airborne Bastard © Kris Demeanor, Kristofer Wenzel Every year I think I'm in the clear I think I've outgrown the weakness the seasonal meekness The sad result of this genetic default Making eyes red and raw and my nose a fucking faucet Spring has sprung yes and I'm a believer In the beauty of new growth and the hell of hay fever Take the potential of enjoying new nature And trade it away into a pocket full of wet balled up toilet paper In between sneezing reality rings true Confronted with the fact that Mother Nature hates you How dare she?!? That's what I ask How dare she let me suffer after all I've done for her Action groups, preservation societies Who wants to save what they can't enjoy? Cause while you're pitching your camp stall I'll be itching my eyeballs Enjoying your lawn? I'll be downstairs with the fan and the humidifier on Get down airborne bastard I've tried them all Hydrasense Clariton Allegra Benedril Chloro-Tripilon I've tried homeopathy giving up dairy Please! These aren't remedies I'd rather choke on my own snot than live a live without cheese I don't even know what it is Is it the pollen or the grass or the dust or the popular fluff falling? I'm only happy when the rest of you blests are complaining Yah I'm a downright smug son of a bitch when it raining I'm tired of the pity or being bemoaned I'm tired of people asking if I'm sick or if I'm stoned Get down airborne bastard I know it's not that simple there's a deeper reason For the depth in our suffering the growing season The world is reborn the flower the birds It's all a humiliating twist of the knife With the under the nose chafing the itching the aching It's like you're allergic to life! So think of us that's all I'm saying When you're in the outside world inhaling Think of the thousands pale and exhausted Huddled around empty Kleenex boxes And trust we are plotting revenge without limit On the air that you breathe and all the shit in it Get down airborne bastard
Too Close to the Sun ©Dave McFarlane Doesn’t everybody have a dream Is there, something about you nobody else can see, Do you , find yourself drifting Thinking of the person , you want to be 2/ Everybody’s got their destiny Some kind of purpose or reason to be A part of the picture, an actor in the play The lead role in the movie The hero of the day 3/ Isn’t everybody scared by life Don’t we, all wake up sometimes worried in the night, Are you, always that confident, are you happy all the time Well that day can pass by quickly and turn back into night 4/ Everybody’s got a right to dream The right to, travel roads that others may not see To raise your own sails and set them to the wind On a journey to a destination no one else has been Flyin too close to the sun Flying too high and it’s scaring everyone
On Come the Men ©Barnaby Ward It's 3:30am, I’m watching television And the cricket comes on, it comes on The huge field is empty, except for several seagulls The announcer’s talking nonsense On come the men Ugly sweaty men with huge moustaches And excessive amounts of zinc creme And they’re doing things that only cricket players do On another channel, it’s time for the music There a women in bikinis riding motorcycles Back in the stadium, there’s a whole stack of Marshalls Spotlights waving crazily On come the men Ugly hairy men, with ridiculous tattoos All over their bodies, thrusting the floor Now I’m awake, I’ve been sleeping at my friend’s house It’s the hour of power, it’s the Christians 10,000 Americans all squashed up together How do they stand it, I wonder On come the men Men with huge chins and no noses They have the answers and they’re going to heal us Men on the beach Men tending barbeques Men wearing lycra and high viz Men turning off leaf blowers Men doing darning Men riding electric bicycles Men making up bedtime stories Men asking for directions Men fixing a flat tyre on a wheelchair Men building windfarms Men dwelling on the concept of considering contemplation Men calling out other men for being dodgy Men being proud of their compost Men owning their stuff ups
Amy's OK 04:39
Amy's OK © Matt Radford Amy's very bored She's skint, and feeling so bad Because she's unemployed She wants to play bass in a real speed-metal band Amy's got a new haircut Didn't make her feel a whole lot better When her boyfriend tried to break up He couldn't say it to her face, so he put it in a letter (Spoken: These days, that would be a text message) Amy spends her day Walking 'round St Kilda Where she always says gudday To all the people that she meets, that's why they think she's so peculiar Chorus: Yeah, yeah, but she's so strong When she gets her head together But it hurts to see the sadness in her eyes She's so strong, but she changes like the weather And it's hard to find the confidence inside Amy needs her friends So she meets them at the Espy In the small café at ten Amy reads their future in their peppermint tea Amy tells her friends About her major new disaster Well, the guy's run off again And her friends agree with her when she says all men are bastards (Spoken: Aw, not all men...come on...take it easy... Yeah, you guys just get back in your box!) Chorus Amy wants to change So she writes five affirmations And she chants them every day But her attempts at meditation always end up in frustration Amy's sick of tears And she's tired of all the fighting Well, she wants to cut her fears And she hates playing the game, but it makes it more exciting Chorus
Come On Sun 05:35
Come On Sun © Carl Pannuzzo Come on sun, shine like you love me Come on sun, shine like you always do/did Come on sun, shine like you’ll never let me go Come on sun, shine like you love this day, Come on sun, shine like you paint the way, Come on sun, ‘cause I need your kisses on my face I count my blessings the star you are to me And all my wishes are far from only mine, my sun if you’ll only shine All around the galaxy, there’s no star quite like you All these happy people orbit around you And all round the galaxy, we (still) hear your melody And music is laughing all the way When you’re down and darkness falls Behind a cloud, the threat of storm, Shy to rise, the lazy morn All the day there’s something warm for all Come on sun…. All around the galaxy, there’s a song sung by you And we dance a rhythm in orbit around you All around the galaxy, we all sing in harmony The music is love throughout the day But when you’re quiet, silence falls We rest and wait the morning calls We live the memories in our dreams And stretch to the hope of sunny scenes Come on sun
The Goddess of Harkaway © Penelope Swales 2015 I don’t really know her But I love her coz she cares She always cares and she always takes the time Somehow when she does it It's not clichéd Somehow when she does it It's not hackneyed Something in the way she does it Makes it work because she's so sincere She glows with love, she's got it coming out to here Chorus: She's beautiful But that's not why she's beautiful She's beautiful because she's powerful Powerful because she's purposeful Powerful but gentle Strong and fine Even in her hard time Always so generous even after her hard night So even handed Even if she can't tell left from right My clumsy soul Doesn't know what to do with her I'd like to know her But maybe she's too professional Repeat Chorus (Instrumental – or not) The mongrel mix she makes Of Buddhas and namastes Tibetan Flags and Chinese characters Music, maps and straps and bolsters Works for me Because it works for her Because she so sincere and coz she really cares Alternate chorus: It's wonderful But that's not why it's wonderful It's wonderful because it's meaningful Meaningful because it's purposeful It's purposeful because it's her Coz of the way she makes it work Coz she's so sincere and she always takes the time Bridge: Supple strong and beautiful Sparkling, shining wonderful With healing words and healing hands Bend and stretch and crouch and stand Her likke band of followers Middle-aged and stiff and sore Gather on a Wednesday night To set their tired bodies right She smiles at all her attendees Regardless of abilities And I respond, because she really cares Because she's so sincere and coz she really cares.
Nyurruwiyi 03:19
Nyurruwiyi © Seraphina Presley, Mal Webb, Seini Taumoepeau (Warlpiri language: See translation below) Nyurruwiyi kalalu yapaju nyinaja Kirlka-nyayirni Warlalja nyanjaku manu kurdujuku Purda-nyanjarla Wantangka, Yulyurrpu-ngka Wajirrkinyi-rla manu Warijarri-rla Murru Murru rarralypa manu pirrjirti Ngurrju mata wangu Yapa-ju wapajalpalu Kirri-kari-kirra wurramanji wirlinyi Wantangka, Yulyurrpu-ngka Wajirrkinyi-rla manu Warijarri-rla Nyurruwiyi kalalu yapaju nyinaja FC Kirlka-nyayirni Translation by Cindy Presley: Long time ago, this is how they lived. Healthy and strong They would observe the world, do ceremony and listen Summer, Winter (cold time), Spring (green time) and Autumn (westerly wind) Through sickness and health, they were lively without tiredness They used to walk, place to place, camping out and hunting Summer, Winter (cold time), Spring (green time) and Autumn (westerly wind) Long time ago, this is how they lived. Healthy and strong


This is Totally Gourdgeous’ 5th album. They began in 1998 as a showcase for Penelope’s fabulous gourd instruments and the alchemy of four such diverse singer/songwriter/musicians has led to more than two decades of musical lyrical exploration.

Physical CDs can be obtained from MGM www.thegroovemerchants.com
or from totallygourdgeous.com


released January 10, 2020

Andrew Clermont – Vocals, Fiddle, Mandolin, Guitar & Mix. Production on tracks 1, 7 & 9
Penelope Swales – Vocals, Guitar, Aslatuas, Hulusi, Mix & Production
Mal Webb – Vocals, Bass, Mbira, Stomp, Mix engineering & Production
Carl Pannuzzo – Vocals, Drums, Percussion & Mix guidance

All the stringed instruments made from gourds by Penelope
Gourd drum by Mal and Penelope
Special guest Kylie Morrigan on Violin (tracks 9, 17 & bridge stabs on track 6)

All arrangements by Totally Gourdgeous, except track 2 arranged by Carl and track 3 by Robert Davidson, Mal and Penelope, using the innate melody of the speech. Mandolin on tracks 3 & 4 recorded by Steve Newton at Enrec Studios, but otherwise ...
Recorded by Mal
Mastered by Adam Dempsey


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Totally Gourdgeous Melbourne, Australia

Four outrageously diverse singer-songwriter-musicians united under Gourd. Indeed, playing instruments made from those woody cucurbits brings their music together to make folk funk philosophy to feed your wildest pumpkin longings. Penelope Swales (guitar), Carl Pannuzzo (drums), Mal Webb (bass, mbira and bugle) and Andrew Clermont (violin, mandolin and guitar). Instigated in 1998. ... more

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